what someone leaves me with believing, without caring enough to make me think otherwise, stays with me for my whole life. it says a lot about what you mean to someone and where you stand in their life because for me words actions and efforts go together. it hurts because you care but after a certain amount of continual pain and their indifference towards it, you grow used to it and it may hurt a little less, and you’ll wonder why you spent days hurting and crying over it, and you’ll stop hoping altogether. it has always bothered me how someone so close could be so indifferent and it always hurts despite being a regular thing for me, but I think I am now getting used to it. it seems like this is how it’s going to be now and I’ll have to learn to accept it without hating myself for hoping otherwise. maybe it’s something about me maybe it’s just how everyone is. maybe i expect too much, maybe I am easier to hurt, has to be something that I am not able to understand.
